Like I mentioned, eventually all that talking has to land somewhere. But something interesting can happen once it does: an agreement can sound perfectly clear in conversation and look completely different once you’re reading it on paper.
Things tend to look different on paper.
I say this to participants all the time because they do.
A conversation can make perfect sense while we’re having it. Everyone knows what they’re talking about. There’s context. There are nods. There are sentences that start with, You know what I mean.
Paper does not know what you mean.
If you agreed that someone will refinance the house, there may be more to talk about. By when? What happens in the meantime? What exactly did the two of you intend?
If you agreed that someone is keeping a vehicle, the conversation may not end with, Okay, you keep the car.
That’s why getting something into writing can sometimes uncover a piece of the conversation we didn’t realize was still sitting there.
That’s not necessarily a problem. I’d rather we find it while we’re still in the room.
My job is to make sure I got it right.
When agreements are reached in mediation, I prepare a Written Summary of Agreed Terms reflecting what you decided.
Then you both get to review it.
Not because I’m expecting you to proofread my commas—although I’m certainly not going to stop you—but because these are your agreements.
I want you to read them and ask yourself: Is this what I meant? Is this what we agreed to? Does this say what I thought we said?
If I misunderstood something, tell me.
If something looks different now that you’re reading it, we can talk about it.
I’m part of the process with you, but the decisions are yours. That includes making sure the words accurately reflect the decisions you actually made.
So where does the MSA come in?
Here’s where this one gets a little more Florida.
There isn’t just one Marital Settlement Agreement form. Florida has different versions depending on the circumstances of the divorce—including whether there are dependent or minor children and whether there is property to address.
So if you’ve seen 12.902(f)(1), 12.902(f)(2), or 12.902(f)(3) floating around and wondered why everyone can’t just have the same form, welcome to the club.
Which one applies to your situation is not something I’m going to decide for you. That’s Sunshine State territory.
You can find the current versions and Florida’s instructions directly through Florida Courts.
And that’s really the point.
An MSA may eventually contain decisions about a house, accounts, debts, support, property, or any number of other things.
But those little boxes and paragraphs aren’t where the decisions happen.
The conversation comes first.
That’s where we figure out whether “we agree about the house” actually means you both agree about the same thing.
And when you do reach an agreement, my job is to make sure I heard you correctly—not to decide what the agreement should have been.
Florida can handle the forms. We’ll handle the conversation.
