If you’ve never been to mediation before, you’re probably filling in the blanks yourself. Nervous is normal. You don’t need a monologue prepared, and you certainly don’t need all the answers squared away.
The great part is, you already have the boring paperwork out of the way. You’ve completed the forms. I’ve reviewed them, and everything is queued up and ready to start.
By this point, you’ve decided if you’re proceeding in-person or virtually, so you know what the room will look like. You’ve probably gone over in your head a hundred times how the conversation will go, but now we’re actually in the room, in the moment. The good thing is, everything doesn’t have to be decided in one session. There is room to breathe, time to take a beat, and space for things to slow down when needed.
Then comes the talking… like I said before, you don’t need an opening script or to defend your entire relationship that led you to this very room. What you do need is an open mind and a willingness to understand that this isn’t going to be a straight line. There will be smooth moments and rougher ones, and that is completely normal.
You don’t need the perfect words or feelings for things to still be productive. Emotion happens. Frustration happens. Awkward silence happens. It’s all part of the process. Not having an answer to every question or a perfect solution to every scenario is absolutely normal, and there is nothing wrong with simply saying, “I don’t know.” It’s not a performance and things don’t need to be pretty to be productive.
It’s pretty simple. You show up with the topics you want to discuss and you discuss them. The conversations go the way they go, but I am there to make sure things don’t spiral into a perpetual finger-pointing session. Some topics may move quickly, others may need more time. Sometimes, topics aren’t resolved, but there is still movement.
By the end of the session, whatever you have agreed to, I’ll write up and give back for you to review.