That sounds backwards. Most people expect mediation to tackle enormous questions. Sometimes it does. But experienced mediators spend a surprising amount of time making big problems smaller. Not smaller in importance. Smaller in scope.
One of the easiest ways for a conversation to stall is when the question becomes too big. Parents will sit down intending to discuss one issue and, before long, they’re trying to solve the next fifteen years of co-parenting in a single afternoon. That’s an impossible assignment.
Part of my job is making the conversation small enough that people can actually make progress. Instead of trying to answer, “How are we going to co-parent forever?” we start with, “How will school information be shared?” Instead of trying to solve every financial disagreement, we define how extracurricular expenses will be handled. Instead of debating whether someone is generally cooperative, we talk about how schedule changes will be communicated.
Smaller doesn’t mean less important. It means specific enough that people can make a decision they can actually carry into real life.
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